Navigating the Solitude of Thanksgiving: A Native Perspective on the Holiday

Thanksgiving is a time that brings many families together, but for some, it can also be a solitary experience, especially for those who have lost loved ones or live far from their families. This year, as I have spent time with my mother, brother, and sisters, I've come to appreciate the unique perspective of being alone, especially during holidays like Thanksgiving.

Appreciating the Solitude

No matter the circumstances, it's important to remember that being alone on a holiday does not diminish the experiences of those around us. In fact, it can offer a unique chance to reflect and appreciate what we do have. As I've been alone on Thanksgiving for over 20 years, I find plenty to be grateful for, like my two beloved cats. Over the years, I've grown to appreciate the simple joys, even in solitude, and to cherish the holidays for what they truly are – days filled with warmth, companionship, and celebration.

The Overrated Nature of Holidays

Frankly, I often find the holidays to be overrated, and even pretentious. The history behind Thanksgiving, rooted in the gratitude and mutual aid of Native Americans and the English Pilgrims, has been overshadowed by modern-day commercialism and expectations. Every year, we hear endless tales about the perfect Thanksgiving and Christmas meals, with the added layer of pretense that everyone should be cooking with exceptional skills. It can become quite exhausting to hear about the pressure to be the best at cooking, or worse, to hear unsolicited comments on how one's cooking measures up to others.

Instead, why not sign up for a cooking lesson to improve your skills, rather than feeling the pressure to impress? Thanksgiving is a day for coming together, sharing food, and expressing gratitude. It's not just an ordinary day of cooking and meal-making; it's about the love and support we provide for one another. The fanfare and pressure surrounding these holidays can be quite annoying, but the simple act of cooking for others and enjoying their company can bring immense joy and meaning to the day.

This Year's Thanksgiving Experience

This year, my Thanksgiving experience has been "reasonable." Last year, I had a similar, "reasonable" experience. However, while I'm content with my own Thanksgiving, I am looking forward to a great Christmas. The anticipation of the Christmas season brings a different kind of joy, as it often involves family gatherings and the promise of new beginnings.

While I look forward to the warmth and shared meals, the prospect of dragging myself to a full-course dinner at noon on a Thursday is not particularly appealing. This holiday often involves uncomfortable family dynamics, such as those with Uncle Oscar, who is a known pervert. His inappropriate remarks about young women and his past misconduct are a stark reminder of the challenges that come with family gatherings. While the mothers involved may laugh it off, they were indeed his victims, and this highlights the importance of personal boundaries and respect during holidays.

The Unpredictability of Family Gatherings

This year, my cousins and their families are in Windsor, just a ten-mile drive from my house in Detroit. However, due to the border being closed, I am unable to join them for Thanksgiving. This adds another layer of unpredictability and disappointment to the holiday experience. Despite the challenges, I find that each holiday brings new insights and experiences, helping me appreciate the resilience and strength required to navigate such times.

In conclusion, navigating the solitude of Thanksgiving, while challenging, offers a unique opportunity to reflect on what truly matters in life. Whether you're celebrating with loved ones or enjoying the day alone, remember that the essence of Thanksgiving lies in the connections we make and the warmth we share. So, as we approach the holiday season, let's focus on the genuine joys and the spirit of gratitude that define these special days.