Dealing with Unreliable BFFs: When Your Friend Always Pushes Responsibilities Your Way

Friendships are built on trust, support, and mutual respect. However, when a friend continually shifts their responsibilities onto you, it can strain even the strongest of bonds. In this article, we explore the issue of a friend who never seems to pay their bills, always leaving you to pick up the slack.

The Problem with "Screwing Me Over"

The phrase "she kept screwing me over" perfectly encapsulates a scenario where one friend is consistently neglecting their responsibilities and then laying the blame and the financial burden on another person. In the context of paying the light bill, this translates to periodically expecting the other person to cover the expense because the other failed to do so.

This behavior not only creates additional stress and burden but also leads to a framework of unreliable expectations. Over time, such behavior can erode the trust and trustworthiness in the friendship, leaving both parties feeling frustrated and resentful.

Understanding Responsibility Pushing

When a friend keeps "dumping the bills on you to pay and continuing to not pay it themselves," they are not just creating a financial strain but also a psychological one. This behavior can make you feel like you're always the responsible one and that your friend relies on you to cover their responsibilities.

Moreover, this kind of interpersonal dynamic can lead to a broader pattern of behavior. In situations where one person is not responsible and always expects others to bail them out, it can be difficult to establish a healthy and equal relationship dynamic. Friends should be supportive and reliable, but when that support is turned into an expectation, it can become toxic.

Consequences of Continual Responsibility Pushing

The long-term effects of continually having to cover your friend's expenses can be detrimental to both parties. Financially, it can be a strain, leading to financial stress and anxiety. Emotionally, it can cause frustration, resentment, and a feeling of unfairness. Over time, this can lead to a breakdown in the friendship, potentially affecting all aspects of your relationship.

It's important to address these issues before they become overly problematic. Communication is key. You should discuss the situation openly and honestly, setting healthy boundaries and expectations for the future.

Steps to Take When Dealing with Responsibility Pushing

Communicate Openly: Schedule a time to talk with your friend about the issue. Be clear and direct, explaining how their behavior makes you feel and impacting your life negatively.

Set Clear Boundaries: It's important to establish clear boundaries and responsibilities for each friend. This could be as simple as taking turns paying bills or agreeing on a plan to resolve the financial strain.

Seek Solutions Together: Work with your friend to find a mutually agreeable solution. If it's an issue of forgetfulness or financial troubles, perhaps there are ways to help each other out mutually.

Seek Third-Party Help: Sometimes talking to a mutual friend or a counselor who can mediate the conversation can help both parties look at the issue more objectively.

Consider Reflecting on the Relationship: If the behavior continues despite your efforts to correct it, it may be time to reflect on whether the relationship is healthy and truly mutual. Sometimes, ending a relationship is difficult but necessary for your own well-being.

Conclusion

Friendships built on mutual responsibility and support are much stronger than those based on one-sided expectations. If you find yourself in a situation where your friend continually "screws you over" by not paying their bills or other responsibilities, it's crucial to address the issue early on. Through communication, setting boundaries, and seeking solutions, you can work towards a healthier, more balanced friendship.

Remember, it's important to take care of your own financial and emotional well-being first. If the relationship becomes too toxic, it may be necessary to prioritize your own happiness and well-being over the friendship, even if it means making the difficult decision to end it.