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Cost: 5 gp per flask; each flask holds one application. Weight: 1/2 lb.
Pole, 11-Foot: For the things you wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole. And there are a lot of these. Consider: the guy who designed that dungeon knows you’re going to be poking at things with a 10-foot pole. And he’s going to plan accordingly. Now, do you want that ten-ton block of stone falling ON you, or a foot in front of you?
Cost: 2.2 sp. Weight: 8.8 lbs. Sports Drink, Nasty-Tasting: It’s better for you than water, really.
When an adventurer drinks a pint of the stuff, he must make a Fortitude save (DC 20) to keep it down. If this succeeds, he gains a +1 enhancement bonus to his Constitution for the next 1 d6 hours, as he is ultra-hydrated and his electrolytes are in perfect balance. Subsequent drinks of the beverage do not stack (but do force more Fortitude saves, which can cause the initial successful drink to be vomited back up, ending its effects prematurely).
Cost: 2 gp per pint. Weight:
1 lb. per pint.
Water, Yuppie: This fizzy beverage is equivalent to water in most respects. However, for the eight hours after you drink a pint, you must make a Fortitude save (DC 20) any time you are trying to be stealthy, to see if you burp at an inopportune moment. The DC goes up by 5 for every pint after the first. Elves, being genteel creatures, are immune to this effect.
Cost: 10 gp per • pint (hey, it’s French).
Weight: 1 lb. per pint.
You need more stuff.
But at least you’re protected. Attacks are more likely to slide right on off you; take a +2 circumstance bonus to your AC. Slime must be reapplied after each combat; fortunately, there seems to be quite a lot of it in your typical dungeon. Unfortunately, you also take a -2 penalty to any skills based on Charisma - and if you make a natural 1 any Reflex save, you fall down and suffer double effects!
Cost: As per the underlying armor. Weight:
As per the underlying armor plus 1 lb.
Balloon, Holy Water: These blessed bits of latex are almost weightless and easy to carry. They work by divine power and radiate no magic. Filled with six ounces of any liquid, they transmute it to holy water, and may then be used exactly like a holy water flask. Note that if the liquid is poured out of the balloon instead, it turns back into whatever it was before.
Cost: 50 gp. Weight: 50 to a pound.
Balloons, Pretty: You may inflate these and bat them around to distract impressionable monsters. If you’re lucky, they’ll want to play, too, instead of eating you. (They’re also very useful in conjunction with a levitate spell...)
Cost: 50 gp. Weight: 50 to a pound.
Bandanna, Bad-Ass: Just what it sounds like. Tie this in a band around your head, and you get a +2 enhancement bonus to your AC just from the sheer intimidation of your raw prowess. Doubles as a dinner napkin.
Cost: 8 gp. Weight: negligible.
Die, Masterwork: This finely made die gives a +1 to all uses. Thus, for instance, if you possess a
This entire chapter is Open Content, except for spell titles and the words “munchkin,” “dice,” and “the,” which are Product Identity.
No treatise on the fine art of munchkinry (munchkinship? munchkination?) would be complete without a discussion of the ways a magical munchkin may toast his foes . . . from a safe distance. Luckily, there any many satisfyingly destructive spells already in the d20 rules, and there is no need to repeat them here. In general, a munchkin spell is one which either (a) allows the player to roll bucketloads of dice for damage, or (b) allows the character to sidestep nasty negative effects. If the spell is new, so much the better ... it means the DM hasn’t already figured out a way to defeat it.
This chapter, then, presents a collection of spells designed for the most gleefully munchkin of players and DMs. Enjoy. Destroy!
The spells follow an easily understood format that should be old hat to anyone who has ever come within about 30 feet of a d20 rulebook. So, without further ado ...
Level: Clr 2 Components: V, S, DF Casting Time: 1 action Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: One summoned creature Duration: One round/level (D)
Saving Throw: None Spell Resistance: No
Aide summons an assistant to help fight for the caster... or, more specifically, to be there to soak up damage. The summoned aide has ld8 hit points, and any damage suffered by the caster first comes from the aide’s hit points instead. The caster gains a +1 morale bonus to attack rolls and fear effects as long as he has his aide there to back him up.
Level: Wiz 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target: Any one ugly creature
Duration: 10 minutes/level or until midnight,
whichever comes first Saving Throw: Fortitude negates Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless, you would think, but
This spell takes a hideous creature within range and reshapes its features so it is slightly less hideous. It cannot perform extensive changes - no making a 4’6”, 300-lb. person into a fashion model - but it can remove unsightly blemishes, hide inappropriate facial hair, and even smooth out a hunched back or untwist a club foot. It is very popular with young wizards who have delayed too long in finding a date for the Wizards’ Ball, and are now stuck with whoever they can find lounging in a gutter between their tower and the ballroom.