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No regrets - Beazley H.

Beazley H. No regrets - Wiley publishing , 2004. - 234 p.
ISBN 0-471-21295-4
Download (direct link): noregrets2004.pdf
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2. Interests: What interests or passions did you develop because of your regret? After Sandra’s only child died of a rare blood disorder, she devoted her time to raising public awareness of the disease, increasing
STEP SIX: IDENTIFYING LESSONS AND GIFTS 137
funds for medical research, and finding a cure. In the process, she helped many people and found emotional support from other parents like herself who had lost a child to the disease.
3. Opportunities: What opportunities came your way because of the regret, including jobs and opportunities for service to others? For example, a sentence of community service might have opened your eyes to the joys of volunteering or working with those less fortunate than yourself.
4. Successes: What successes have you had, large or small, that resulted from something the regret forced you to do? When Edwin was in elementary school, a deranged man threatened to detonate a bomb on the playground where he and other children were playing at recess. His teacher calmly talked with the man, trying to draw him away from the school building, while telling the children to return to their classrooms. The man grew impatient and triggered the bomb. The explosion killed the teacher and two students who had lagged behind. Edwin escaped death, but the force of the blast tore off part of his leg, forcing its amputation above the knee. When Edwin entered junior high school wearing his prosthetic leg, he developed an interest in the mechanics of artificial limbs and how legs and knees could be made to fit better and to work better. That interest in artificial limbs followed him into college and grad school and then into a highly successful career, where he developed innovative artificial knee designs that helped thousands of amputees.
5. Psychological gifts: In having to deal with the consequences of your regret, how did you grow psychologically? What victories over yourself or over adversities came out of the regret? How did those victories change you and give you something to share with others who found themselves in similar situations? List the positive attributes such as self-confidence, self-discipline, or acceptance of responsibility that you acquired or strengthened as a result of your regret.
6. Spiritual gifts: What spiritual gifts did your regret bring or enable you to develop as a result of its consequences? For example, perhaps you developed greater tolerance and compassion for others or a deeper faith. Perhaps the regret taught you that material success
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NO REGRETS
devoid of loving relationships or a commitment to principled behavior was meaningless. Perhaps the regret led you to greater trust in others, to a desire to be of greater service, or to a recognition of your need for a power greater than yourself. Perhaps you learned how to love or to accept the love of others.
7. Other gifts: You may have received gifts that do not fit neatly into
any of the other categories. If so, write about them here.
8. Potential gifts: Ask yourself what gifts are potentially yours to receive that you have not yet recognized or have not taken advantage of in some way. Talk with your confidant and your friends to help you with this search. The more gifts you find, the more meaningful your regret will be, and the easier it will be to accept that the regret had value for you and served a purpose. Even if you have found several gifts, ask yourself what additional gifts await your discovery. Consider, for example, how the events and consequences of your regrets could still make you stronger, more honest, or more grateful. How could your regrets teach you humility, patience, or persistence? How could they make you more loving or more committed to living life fully and richly? How could you use them to find or deepen your faith in a higher power?
Return to the list of categories that you used to describe the gifts of your regrets. This time, search for potential gifts—gifts that could still be yours ifyou were to recognize them or work to get them. The question you are seeking to answer is, “How can I make my regrets even more valuable for me?”
3. Apply the Lessons and Gifts for the Benefit of Ourselves
Once you have identified the lessons and gifts of your regrets, you are in a position to use them for your benefit. When you apply them to help yourself (or others), your regrets will lose some of their sting. While it’s true that your regrets have deprived you of something valuable, they have also brought you something of value. You may not see the exchange as equal,
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and it may not be. The death of a child is too high a price to pay for whatever lesson or gift might result. But there are still powerful lessons and gifts inherent in the most devastating regrets. Acknowledging these lessons and gifts and using them to improve your life is an important part of letting go of your regrets.
Consider the following examples as you ponder some of the ways in which you can apply the lessons and gifts of your regrets:
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